That’s the philosophy of Stamford solo Dori Hightower who handles contentious and complex marital litigation cases, often involving spouses fighting over millions of dollars. But there’s more than money at stake.

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Despite the rapid evolution of cultural mores and economic circumstances, many people have emotional resistance to signing a prenup.

One tool for combating this unscrupulous aspect of human nature can be a prenuptial (prenup) agreement, since a prenup arguably calls for “full” disclosure of financial information. “Full” is in quotations marks because the courts have waffled on what constitutes full disclosure. It can be fuzzy. The bottom line is that going through the exercise of negotiating a prenup may give a client more information than they would otherwise obtain in the blush of love and romance.

In Connecticut, McHugh V. McHugh, is the seminal case on prenuptial agreements. It is important to have an experienced family lawyer advise a client about the criteria considered for whether a prenup will be enforceable upon the dissolution of a marriage based upon the relevant case law and facts.

Since every union is unique, one must consider if a prenup is advantageous to their marital relationship. A prenuptial agreement is a contract created to represent the interests of two individuals who plan to marry. The prenup should be tailored to reflect the interests and concerns of both parties. It may include the rights and responsibilities of each individual
during the marital relationship or if it ends in divorce or death.

Download the complete article, reprinted with permission from the Connecticut Law Tribune.

A structured settlement replaces one lump payment with smaller payouts over time — it’s a concept frequently used in workers’ compensation or tort cases, but more often, these types of settlements are also being used in divorces. It sounds like a positive solution, but I cannot tell you how many times I have observed the many ways that structured settlements have failed because of a lack of penalties and controls built into the final agreement.

One common pitfall of structured settlements is simple naiveté.

Take the case of Jenna, a woman who is self-employed in the high-powered financial services industry and divorced from her ex-spouse Andy, a stay-at-home dad*. While the couple were married, he supported her through business school, helped her start their business, and when they decided to have children, he promised her that he would stop working and stay at home.

Shortly after their second child was born, Jenna began an affair with the pool boy and later, the CFO of her (their) company. When Andy discovered her infidelity, she promised to bury him if he divorced her and threatened him with the loss of his lifestyle.

Their structured settlement included a property payout over eight years, alimony with a cost of living increase each year, and a share of the profits from her business. For this stay-at-home dad, however, nothing went according to plan.

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Suddenly the financial picture, and the life that he or she knew, appears to unravel with newfound lies. It is important to put aside these emotions and instead, take a step back and devise a thoughtful approach to unearth the facts, locate hidden funds, and develop an accurate financial picture moving forward.

The picture will be constantly changing as the exploration unfolds, but with some hard work, a story will begin to emerge that can be used to support an argument as to how the assets should be divided.

When the numbers don’t add up, highlight the discrepancy and work with your team to strategically trace the trail.

Developing a strong financial team including an experienced divorce lawyer, personal accountant, and divorce financial planner will help to level the playing field and give the spouse a much-needed support system. In some cases, a forensic accountant may be needed to follow the money trail and value business assets. On the personal front, if necessary, in order for clients to have the emotional stamina to get through the financial discovery process, I would encourage them to get additional psychological support.

It’s important for a divorce attorney to empower a client to identify discrepancies, investigate further into leads, and ask tough questions. I am not suggesting ever engaging in illegal conduct (i.e., breaking into computers, secure files in the home or office, monitoring cell phone or surveillance) as this can result in significant legal consequences. Rather a client needs to be his or her own best sleuth — learning about the family’s finances, taking the initiative, and requesting copies of important documents: mortgage statements, bank statements, utility bills, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, insurance policies, etc.

Download the complete article, reprinted with permission from the Connecticut Law Tribune.